When I'm feeling lonely, I sit in my "office" and listen to Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band. I pretend that a relationship is there, that I'm not completely useless, and that I wasn't kicked to the curb by my biological father.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
I don't have a good relationship with my biological father. Actually, I don't have a relationship at all with him. I can't even pinpoint the last time I spoke to him. Most of the time this doesn't bother me, I have a great step-father, and a great family. But sometimes I just wish I had that father-daughter bond that most people get to have. I feel like I have to not like him because of all the horrible things he's done to me and the rest of my family. I feel like that's the only option. I either accept the way things are now and never think of it again, or I forgive him and fake a relationship. I don't really care for either of those choices. I feel as though he's the one that actually needs to forgive and make an effort. That won't ever happen so that leaves me stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm so lost, I can't even begin to explain what I'm feeling.