Mmm. Lasagna.

So it seems I only feel like updating this old thing when things are not as I wish they were. It makes it seem like I'm not a happy individual. On the contrary, I'm an extraordinarily happy person, I just don't always show it. Things go wrong and for a few hours or more, I mope about them, then I get on with my life. No harm no foul.

This blog over the years (though I have many many posts hidden or removed from previous years) has served as a dumping grounds for all the things I probably should have said to all of the people who have let me down in some way or another. I deleted posts about men I dated. I deleted those about work frustrations, and I removed those few posts about friends that were never really friends. Life goes on, you know?

In other news, married life has been great so far. And simply because I have not changed my name yet. I had to wait for the marriage license to return before I could even begin attempting to change my name. I can't even change it on the utilities, which is odd to me as I never had to prove who I was when I started service? Who knows. They never had my name right to begin with, I'm starting to wonder if I even need to change it. Change it on the utility accounts, that is. Of course I'm going to actually change my name. I will be glad to be rid of the "family" last name. It makes me sound like a heartless person, but when you never had a relationship with someone, does that really make me the bad guy?

That's for another post. I need to go check on my delicious brownies anyway. Ciao!

What's in a friend?

So here's another emo post. I've had far too much wine this evening and though I know I shouldn't be near a computer I'm going to post this anyway.

I've spent far too long trying to be someone I'm not because I thought I'd get a great friend out of the deal. Instead, it's left me near friendless and well, alone. I want so badly to be that best friend to someone. To be that person to another woman who she can count on. Share silly things, serious things, and just be awesome together. I've always made better friends with guys than with gals, and frankly guys don't give a damn about the cute skirt you just found at Target. Or man problems. Maybe that's why I always befriended them. I didn't have those problems or issues until I grew up. Got responsibilities. And now here I am. My best friend is my husband and while I adore him, we both need friends of our own.

He is lucky enough to have great friends from high school. Me, on the other hand, I've got internet friends. The kind of friends that only care about you and your life when they've run out of internets. The kind of friend that just happens to be just as bored as you sitting on the other side of a computer screen.

I was always a little antisocial to begin with. A few years back (try like 7) I started trying really hard to be the person everyone liked. The girl people wanted to hang out with. Turns out I was just a free ride, or a free drink, or whatever it happened to be. I can't stand it any longer.

I see people that I thought were really close friends of mine drop me for the flavor of the month and never look back. It irks me to no end. How is one supposed to end the friendless cycle? How does one go about finding that best friend?

One may never know, it seems.

I'm a married woman now!

So I realize I use this blog to mainly complain about things, and for that I apologize. A woman is allowed to complain and at least I picked a spot that no one else really ever looks at. Although I can't say that my whining will be over with, my wedding related whining is over. I think.

I'm sure I could find something to complain about, but I'm just too exhausted today to even think about it. I'll be back with a full recap sometime later this month.

:heart:

I'm so stinking nervous!

I have some incredibly awesome people coming to visit me in just a week's time. I have so many things to complete and I just don't have the motivation.

I need to clean my house from top to bottom. I have cookies, and treats, and things to bake. I have to go to Oklahoma on Saturday then turn around and come right back to Texas for the bachelorette party.

I'm so overwhelmed with anxiety that I just can't handle it. I should have probably been working slowly on all these things all this week, but have I? No.

I'm such a slacker! I still have to get a few gifts. I still have to write thank yous. Pack for our mini-moon. Pay stupid bills. Clean. Laundry. Clean some more. Cook. Do dishes. Cook again. Clean out the microwave.

Most folks aren't actually going to come over to my house, but I'm sure one or two of them will and I can't have monster animal hair everywhere. I can't have it smelling like dog. I can't have dirty foot prints on the tile. I just can't!

I feel like I'm going insane! I need some housekeeping help!!!

Giant DIY progress.

Anyhow, I had a break down. So many things have gone wrong that I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's amazing how much better you'll feel after you just let everything take over. Sure, I still have my doubts and my feelings are still hurt, but in the end I'll be just fine.

I am absolutely consumed with all things wedding. Final payments, final head counts, final DIY projects.

Speaking of DIY projects, remember how I mentioned we were having a dinosaur wedding? Well it doesn't get much more dinosaur-y than this. My step-dad is building the most awesome 9 and a half ft tall dinosaur to use as a prop and to be honest, it's pretty much all we've got in the way of decorations.

We need one more coat of paint, the addition of a vest, monocle, top hat and mustache, and the giant Apatosaurus will be complete! I am beyond excited about it. He's currently strapped to the ground because we've been having a bit of wind lately and he fell over a few weeks back. Broke his hip and fractured his shoulder. It was terrible.

17 days left. 17!