Wedding woes and the end of an era.

Lately I've been spending a lot of time on the forums over at theknot.com. Generally speaking I enjoy the website, however the overconfident, sheltered, and down right close mindedness of the posts is really starting to irk me. I get that the site leans more for traditional weddings and such, and that's perfectly fine. But the non-traditional bashing is really annoying. There's even an etiquette board which is far from it.

It's evidently news to me that full meal options are the norm when it comes to weddings, and hor d'oeuvres are frowned upon. No wonder people claim that the average cost is near 10k or more. I am of the thinking that if you're going to be disappointed that I didn't provide you with steak, then you weren't really there to see us get married. Which I thought was the point anyway. Anyway. Back to the site, I posted a general question thread asking suggestions and ideas for alternatives. Well that didn't go over so well. I currently have over 30 comments telling me "If I came to your wedding, and you didn't feed us, I'd be pissed I bothered to buy you a gift. I'd also leave early because I was hungry."

There are so many things wrong with that, I'm not even sure where to begin. First off, gifts are not expected. Appreciated, but again not expected or encouraged. Secondly, since when did the bride become responsible for your eating habits? Is it so hard to grab somethign before you come to the wedding? Is it really the end of the world to snack on crackers for an hour and then go get food? Are you going to starve within that time frame?



Now, I'm not completely off my rocker, I assure you. I realize food is a large part of the reception both in budget and convenience. However, I'm more than a tad offended that it's become expected. I also know that my wedding alone will not change the norm, or even make it on the radar. But food is a luxury and should be treated as such. With a guest list topping 75, should I really shell out 40-50$ per head for mediocre food that chances are people wouldn't enjoy? Hell, I could take everyone to Logan's, pick up the tab and it's still significantly less that 45$ a person!
And for taht matter, why are hor d'oeuvres frowned upon? And why do they have to be "heavy hor d'oeuvres?" What does that even mean anyway? I shoudl serve my guests fried eggrolls, fried cheese, and fried onions? Is that heavy enough? Or is that your way of saying that the appetizers need to be a meal replacement? In that case, I'm serving everyone a single bottle of Slim Fast. That's a meal replacement smoothie and everyone will be stuffed afterwards! Makes sense, right?


I supposed I'm a little bothered that there is so little creativity in the commercialized wedding world. "OMG I HAVE TO HAVE A MILLION FLOWERS! THEY HAVE TO BE FRESH! I HAVE TO HAVE THESE PHOTOS TAKEN! AND I HAVE TO HAVE THE MOST EXPENSIVE DRESS EVER!" Maybe it stems from not fantasizing about this kind of thing since I was old enough to remember, but I just don't get it. Sure, I want a nice wedding ... but ideas of nice between say theknot.com and I vary greatly. There probably won't be a lot of white at my wedding. Or a lot of food. Or flowers. Or centerpieces. Or dim lighting. Or dancing.

But there will be a lot of awesome, that I can assure you my dear friends.

The proposal

I need someone to take over.

I am a planner and decision maker by nature. I like being able to nail down all the details of something whether it be tiny or huge. I liek sifting through oodles of information to find the perfect thing. So naturally, this whole wedding thing should come fairly easily .. right?
　
WRONG!
That couldn't be further from the truth. Three weeks into this whole planning business, and I can't even decide the simple things like colors, themes, date! I realize it's been a relatively short period of time .. and if I'm this overwhelmed now I can only imagine how bad it's going to get. I'm fully convinced that I was a Bridezilla long before we even got engaged. I know why those brides turn out that way. I can totally relate.
　
One reoccuring theme that I'm starting to really hate is "Now you can have whatever it was you dreamed about when you were little. So, what is it? Fairytale? Romantic? Beach?" There's one problem with that. I never fantasized about getting married. At least not when I was little. I grew up with a logical and practical mindset so daydreaming about something 20, 30 years down the line just wasn't interesting to me. Come to think of it, I didn't really dream about anything. It just wasn't fun for me. Now that I've got the chance to do that, I can't make a decision to save myself. I constantly ask for opinions, but people seem to be afraid to tell me what they think. Like the whole wedding dress thing. And now it's the same thing but replace dress with venue. Or decor. Or cake. Or colors.
And then when I did half-ass pick a theme, I see people rolling their eyes and sighing. (One of my biggest pet peeves btw.) I'm trying to please everyone, which I am well aware how impossible that is. But it's not entirely possible if attempting to please one aspect of everyone's opinions. Such as having the wedding where the parents want it, satisfying budget, getting the cake that G3PO and I like (After all we're going to have to eat it a year later), so on and so forth.
I'd love to say I had all the answers. I'd love to say that I didn't much care for what other people thought. But I can't. Because I want everyone to be happy.
And in the end .. I'm the one that's not happy. Sigh.

Don't stick your fingers in that fan!

Remember when your parents used to tell you that? And graphic images of your fingers being sliced clean off would dance through your mind? Well, I think I can understand where that came from.


See, I'm fairly clumsy. And I also tend to be hot 95% of the time. So naturally we have tons of fans littered around the house. Most are those really tiny yet powerful desktop fans so not much harm can come from those. We've also got a few heavy metal floor fans that are fantastic, but on the floor and the generally out of the way. So again, not much bodily destruction can occur.


Then there's the evil standing fan in the bedroom. It's plastic, but it's just as demonic. I am convinced that it has little grubby hands that reached out and tried to kill me as I was walking by. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!

A little back story ... Several years ago I got my nipples pierced. I figure most people know this about me, but choose not to remember it. Then about a year later I had them pierced again, this time at a 90 degree angle from the first piercing, therefore creating an awesome plus sign design. I love them, and I didn't realize how much I loved them until just the otehr day when the fan tried to grab them.

See, I was walking from the closet where the hamper is kept to the bathroom where my shower was running and of course had to pass by the fan. The next thing I knew my nipple jewelry was caught in the fan grate and those cheap plastic blades were headed right for it. I screamed bloody murder and I was certain that I had just lost a boob. My boob.
For a good ten minutes or so I refused to look at it, because in my head I just knew that there was a gallon of blood rushing out, a chunk of flesh still stuck in the fan, and the cat wondering why I stepped on his obnoxiously large tail.

As I looked around, I saw no blood, no flesh, and no evidence of the evil monster that lives in the fan. I was horrified, but actually I was perfectly fine. My nipple jewelry still intact and all is well. Bruised, but well.


This is the kind of exciting thing that happens to me and only me. Evil boob grabbing demon monster flesh eating satanic fan.

TV has given me a false sense of reality.

So it's no secret that I'm absolutely obsessed with all of the wedding shows on TLC, Bravo, Style, WE, etc. It's gotten so bad that I'm not even aware that I'm watching them. I can't help it!

Never in a million years would I have the money to afford even the least expensive options at Kleinfelds, or a reception at The Four Seasons. But it is fun to watch ... and dream.

Last week, I took my mother, step dad, and grandmother on the first dress shopping experience of many. I'd never been in a wedding dress, so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. For that matter, I wasn't even sure what I wanted. But I knew what I didn't want .. and that was a 4 digit price tag. So we make it over to David's Bridal and the place is packed. I never really considered myself a true plus size lady. I was always an inbetweener, but putting on just one of those dresses proved me wrong. Yes, I realize wedding dresses are cut to an unrealistic size chart, but still. So, even going to the shop I was apprehensive about what, if anything, I'd fit into. And even further, what would be flattering to my soda can shape.

Much to my surprise, there were several brides in the shop that were larger than me. It sounds shallow, but it was nice to know that I wasn't the largest one in there. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that the shop had a good selection of plus-size gowns to try on. About half were too small, a fourth were too big, and another fourth fit just right with minor adjustments. I didn't find "the one" or at least I don't think I did.

It's hard to make a decision when you're support party doesn't really offer any kind of criticism. Not that I expect them to tell me bad things, but I'd like to hear them. Things like "that dress doesn't really show your curves" or "maybe try something that's not so low cut in the back" or even better "I don't like that one." Really, it's not that hard people!
What I think looks attractive on me, probably doesn't. And what other people see is most of the wedding anyway, so of course I want to know what other people think!

I got so frustrated, I just went home and cried for two days. I'm not even sure I want to go to a different shop. But you're supposed to get back on the horse, right?

Growing up is not for the faint of heart.

A few weeks back, my parents, grandmother, G3PO and I met his parents way out in Amarillo. This was their first time meeting my side of the family and everyone's nerves were a little on edge.

But thanks to the best proposal ever a few days before, we had some not-so-surprising news for everyone. It wasn't planned this way, it just happened to work out in our favor.
　
One Wednesday afternoon, before G3PO got home from work, I places a simple "will you marry me" chat bubble in the hands of a submerged blue T-Rex in our fish tank. It took him awhile to see it, but later that evening he asked me who T-Rex was proposing to. Of course I got a little giddy and squealed a bit when he said yes. I had little doubt he'd decline, but you know, until the question is asked there's always that possibility. On the following payday, we went to the mall for soap, and ended up buy a diamond ring for myself. It's classy, understated, and absolutely gorgeous. Best of all, it was a fantastic deal.

Now back to Amarillo. We were all meeting out there to see an outdoor musical appropriately called "Texas" in the basin of Palo Duro Canyon. Before the show, we all went to Logan's for dinner. Not the best choice in dropping the bomb on everyone, but it was Amarillo and there weren't many affordable options to choose from. So, while chomping down on my delicious caeser salad, G3PO decides to annouce to everyone that we are getting married. (SQUEE!) My mom and step-dad cried, his mother demanded a photo of the ring, and all around everyone was pleased.
　
　
So there you have it. It's now official as I change my facebook status to "engaged."