Lately I've been spending a lot of time on the forums over at theknot.com. Generally speaking I enjoy the website, however the overconfident, sheltered, and down right close mindedness of the posts is really starting to irk me. I get that the site leans more for traditional weddings and such, and that's perfectly fine. But the non-traditional bashing is really annoying. There's even an etiquette board which is far from it.
It's evidently news to me that full meal options are the norm when it comes to weddings, and hor d'oeuvres are frowned upon. No wonder people claim that the average cost is near 10k or more. I am of the thinking that if you're going to be disappointed that I didn't provide you with steak, then you weren't really there to see us get married. Which I thought was the point anyway. Anyway. Back to the site, I posted a general question thread asking suggestions and ideas for alternatives. Well that didn't go over so well. I currently have over 30 comments telling me "If I came to your wedding, and you didn't feed us, I'd be pissed I bothered to buy you a gift. I'd also leave early because I was hungry."
There are so many things wrong with that, I'm not even sure where to begin. First off, gifts are not expected. Appreciated, but again not expected or encouraged. Secondly, since when did the bride become responsible for your eating habits? Is it so hard to grab somethign before you come to the wedding? Is it really the end of the world to snack on crackers for an hour and then go get food? Are you going to starve within that time frame?
Now, I'm not completely off my rocker, I assure you. I realize food is a large part of the reception both in budget and convenience. However, I'm more than a tad offended that it's become expected. I also know that my wedding alone will not change the norm, or even make it on the radar. But food is a luxury and should be treated as such. With a guest list topping 75, should I really shell out 40-50$ per head for mediocre food that chances are people wouldn't enjoy? Hell, I could take everyone to Logan's, pick up the tab and it's still significantly less that 45$ a person!
And for taht matter, why are hor d'oeuvres frowned upon? And why do they have to be "heavy hor d'oeuvres?" What does that even mean anyway? I shoudl serve my guests fried eggrolls, fried cheese, and fried onions? Is that heavy enough? Or is that your way of saying that the appetizers need to be a meal replacement? In that case, I'm serving everyone a single bottle of Slim Fast. That's a meal replacement smoothie and everyone will be stuffed afterwards! Makes sense, right?
I supposed I'm a little bothered that there is so little creativity in the commercialized wedding world. "OMG I HAVE TO HAVE A MILLION FLOWERS! THEY HAVE TO BE FRESH! I HAVE TO HAVE THESE PHOTOS TAKEN! AND I HAVE TO HAVE THE MOST EXPENSIVE DRESS EVER!" Maybe it stems from not fantasizing about this kind of thing since I was old enough to remember, but I just don't get it. Sure, I want a nice wedding ... but ideas of nice between say theknot.com and I vary greatly. There probably won't be a lot of white at my wedding. Or a lot of food. Or flowers. Or centerpieces. Or dim lighting. Or dancing.
But there will be a lot of awesome, that I can assure you my dear friends.