So here's another emo post. I've had far too much wine this evening and though I know I shouldn't be near a computer I'm going to post this anyway.
I've spent far too long trying to be someone I'm not because I thought I'd get a great friend out of the deal. Instead, it's left me near friendless and well, alone. I want so badly to be that best friend to someone. To be that person to another woman who she can count on. Share silly things, serious things, and just be awesome together. I've always made better friends with guys than with gals, and frankly guys don't give a damn about the cute skirt you just found at Target. Or man problems. Maybe that's why I always befriended them. I didn't have those problems or issues until I grew up. Got responsibilities. And now here I am. My best friend is my husband and while I adore him, we both need friends of our own.
He is lucky enough to have great friends from high school. Me, on the other hand, I've got internet friends. The kind of friends that only care about you and your life when they've run out of internets. The kind of friend that just happens to be just as bored as you sitting on the other side of a computer screen.
I was always a little antisocial to begin with. A few years back (try like 7) I started trying really hard to be the person everyone liked. The girl people wanted to hang out with. Turns out I was just a free ride, or a free drink, or whatever it happened to be. I can't stand it any longer.
I see people that I thought were really close friends of mine drop me for the flavor of the month and never look back. It irks me to no end. How is one supposed to end the friendless cycle? How does one go about finding that best friend?
One may never know, it seems.